Babysitting Crime & Punishmment
by FocusBella
Summary: With just one word, babysitter Emmett's day of football turns into Cinderella tea party.


**Hi! This is my first fanfic. EVER. So please bear with me and hope you enjoy! One-shot.**

**Disclaimer: I only wish I owned Twilight and it's characters. It's Stephenie Meyer who owns them.**

* * *

Edward and I walked in the Cullen's house back from visiting Renesmee's new kindergarten school when we saw her and her babysitter playing dress-up and tea party in the living room, both sitting on a short stool beside the drawing table we got Renesmee, sipping tea from the miniscule cup.

I took one look at the baby-sitter. Pink boa around a firm neck, bright pink eye shadows, apple red cheeks, red lipstick smeared outside the frowning lips, a tight pink halter dress, the seams just waiting for one breath to bust apart, and black stilettos, that would break once the babysitter stands up, to finish the look. Renesmee, on the other hand, was just wearing the denim dress I put her in this morning and her white dress shoes. It was a sight, Edward laughed hysterically and I, no later, joined in, not worried about the consequences later on, I am still a newborn and is stronger.

"Momma!" Renesmee cried out and hugged my legs; my hands were too busy clapping. If I was still human I would've looked stupid but as a vampire I probably looked like Esmeralda in the Hunchback of Notre Dame playing the tambourine, dazzling her audience. "Uncle Em and I were playing Princess Tea Party"

It still surprises me how fluently she speaks when she's still technically a year old. No lisps or missing R's. She's too smart for her own good, that's why we decided to introduce her to Forks as our adopted kindergarten daughter. If we waited till she turns 5 she would look and think like a 10 year old and that would cause attention to us. Something inconspicuous vampires do not want.

Emmett took off the stilettos and walked awkwardly and slowly to us, carefully moving his legs as far as the dress would let him. Renesmee reached up to him, and grabbing her arms, Emmett picked her up, half expecting the seams to rip apart from the small move his muscular arms made. He seemed to be a lot cooler about this than I thought. I looked at Edward as our laughter started to slow. Edward chuckled and then coughed; his laughing fit over. I, however, still had a few giggles to let out.

"You enjoyed that?" Edward blurted out, surprised filled his voice but his face was accusing. "Something is up. Your singing that Spice Girls song I loath in your head."

I stopped giggling there and looked back and forth at my husband and my brother-in-law, smiling stupidly at us, Renesmee was giggling on his arms, playing with the dress' strap on Emmett's toned neck.

Edward stretched his arms out to her. "You want to tell Daddy about your day, sweetie? All about it, not just the part where Uncle Em choked on your delicious tea" Edward always said Renesmee's tea and cookies were delicious though he can't taste it, he says it's to encourage her to do anything she wants.

Renesmee looked at Emmett and then gestured towards her father. As Edward took her from Emmett she wrapped her arms around his neck, her face in front of Edward's. "Daddy, can I show Momma, too? You can just read my mind" She smiled, showing her full teeth.

Emmett flinched as she said that. "I can tell them, Nessie. It looks like you're tired already. Time for nap" Something definitely was up. Why is Emmett agreeing with the nap now when most days he would be the one helping Renesmee hide from us during nap times?

Renesmee looked back towards her Uncle and shook her head. "I had a fun time, Uncle Em! I want to tell Momma and Daddy about our day." And with that I cradled her in my arms. Edwards arm was around my shoulders, his hand caressing Renesmee's head, and he kissed mine. I smiled up at him before turning to our daughter.

"Show me, honey" I told her and she placed her soft, warm hand on my cheek.

* * *

_Renesmee was sitting cross-legged on the floor, beside Emmett's legs. She was reading one of my books, my favorite, Wuthering Heights; something normal 1 year olds would just rip apart once they got it in their hands. Her beautiful face would scrunch up now and then towards a word that she can't pronounce. The flat screen TV was on, Tennessee Titans against the Florida Gators. Apparently, Alice hadn't spoiled the game to Emmett yet. Her Uncle Emmett was, of course, rooting for his home team, the Titans. She was finishing a chapter when the Gators had another touch down, leading them 21-6 on the last quarter. Emmett stood up and yelled._

"_Oh, Shit! Shit, shit" _

I gasped. I heard Edward growl. My head snapped up to Emmett, who grimaced as he guessed which part of Renesmee's memory we were on. Edward was about to attack him when Renesmee stopped both of us.

"I'm sorry, sweetie" Edward caressed her cheek. "Please, continue" I gave Emmett one last glare before Renesmee took us back earlier that day.

_She giggled after she heard the word, both her hands covering her mouth. She doesn't know what that word means but she knows no one, especially her Uncle Emmet, is supposed to say that, especially in front of her. Her Momma already yelled at, more like attacked, Uncle Emmett when he accidentally said it a few days ago._

_Emmett slowly turned down his side, shock registering on his face. He completely forgot that Renesmee was with him! He crouched down beside her, smiling sweetly._

"_Nessie, my dearest niece, you didn't hear that, right?" His voice was hopeful, though his face betrayed him. He knows she heard him; she was right beside him when he yelled. _

_Her tinkling giggles were her answer. _

"_It was an accident. Uncle Em didn't mean to say it, so no need to tell Momma and Daddy, right?"_

_I can't believe him! Teaching my daughter to lie?!_

"_I can't lie to Momma and Daddy" Her voice was innocent. That's my good girl. _

"_No, but you don't have to include this accident, right?" Emmett tried again._

"_What am I going to tell Momma when she asks what we did today?" Renesmee shrugged, her pink little lips pouting at the same time. She was beyond adorable. "Or when it's bed time and me and Daddy share to each other what we did?"_

_Emmett's face suddenly turned hopeful. He was probably thinking he still had a chance of erasing that memory from her mind, wishful thinking on his part. "What do you want to do?"_

So that's why Emmett was cool about the make-up. It seemed like Edward realized it too, when I heard him give out an amused scoff. Emmett wanted to make Renesmee's day memorable so she could forget about the slip.

_Renesmee clapped her hands together. "Can we play dress up?" _

"_Sure, honey" Emmett's voice was sweet. "Do you want to go to your house to get your clothes?" _

_She shook her head, her curly ponytail swishing behind. "I want to dress you up, Uncle Em" She stood up and placed her hands on Emmett's shoulders. "You're going to look really pretty after."_

_Emmett's lips were pursed and looked like he would protest but he knew he didn't really have much choice. "Sure, honey" He used his sweet voice again, repeating his answer to Renesmee's dress up question. _

_Renesmee and Emmett were now inside Rosalie's closet. Emmett stood by the door, dumbfounded, watching Renesmee skip around, touching Rosalie's hanged clothes as she passed them._

"_Honey, I don't think I fit in your Aunt Rose's clothes" He crouched beside her. "And I think Aunt Rose would be mad if we use them without her permission" _

"_Uh-uh," she disagreed. "Aunt Rose has those stretchy dresses and she told me its okay to use them before she went hunting; even Aunt Alice told me we can use some of hers"_

_Emmett's eyes got wide. "Alice" he muttered to himself, "she knew about this, that's why she didn't spoil the game" Emmett looked like he was thinking hard, probably plotting revenge on Alice, when Renesmee yelled._

"_Uncle Emmett!" He looked up and Renesmee was jumping up and down. "I found a pretty dress" _

_He groaned before taking the two steps to get to her. "Which one, honey?"_

_Renesmee tugged on a sequined, pink dress with a pink boa. Emmett's eyes got wide again. "Are you sure, sweetie? I don't think Uncle Em would look good in that" He's trying to save himself but once Renesmee sets her mind on something, she sticks to it, much like her parents, and Emmett knew that._

"_You _will_ look pretty, Uncle Em" she insisted, and with a defeated sigh and a forced smile, Emmett took it out of the rack. _

_Renesmee then dragged him by his finger to Alice's bathroom where tons of make-up were set on the counter, most of them were pink and red_

"_Alice" Emmett muttered angrily under his breath. He sighed again and sat on the stool in front of the counter, looking at his gloomy reflection. The dress sat on his lap._

_Renesmee pulled on the hem of his shirt. "Can you please sit on the floor?" She asked, looking up to a hopeless Emmett. "I _can't_ reach" And to prove her point she stretched out her little arms, she only reached up to Emmett's torso. _

_Emmett flopped down the tiled floor, the dress and boa taking his place on the stool, and crossed his legs, waiting for the brushes to sweep all over his face. And it soon did. Renesmee made sure that the black bristles of the big brush was covered in red before swiping it all over Emmett's cheeks. She took the pink eye shadows and roughly dabbed the same brush at it and swept it over his closed eyes. _

"_You know kid," Emmett finally spoke after his half an hour silence. "I think you've been hanging with your Aunt Alice too much" _

"_I like being with Aunt Alice. She buys me anything I want" She smiled and with one last sweep on both Emmett's closed lids she gasped. "Pretty Uncle Emmett" _

_Emmett opened his eyes and looked straight at Renesmee's accomplished face. "Okay now. Let's take it off"_

"_No" Renesmee pouted. "You need lipstick, and the dress, and your shoes" Emmett's eyes bugged out._

"_Shoes?" He asked, horrified. "I'm already wearing my shoes, honey"_

_Renesmee shook her head and pointed behind her. A black four-inch stilettos. _

"_Come on, Uncle Em!" She grabbed a bright red lipstick and stuck it in front of Emmett's dazed face. "This is a great color for you, Aunt Alice said so"_

_Emmett woke up from the mention of Alice's name. "Alice" he grumbled angrily before Renesmee started going over his lips, and around it, with the lipstick._

"_Stand up, Uncle Em, stand up" Renesmee grabbed both his hands and jumped up and down, he stood up. "Look!" Renesmee pointed at the mirror, still jumping._

_Taking a deep, calming breath, Emmett slowly turned to the mirror…and froze. Around his eyes were pink, like a pink black eye, his cheeks were like ripe red apples, the lipstick were scribbled on and around his lips. "So this is how you make a vampire look ugly" He murmured, and I guess he felt his hands stop jumping when he looked down._

"_You don't like it?" Renesmee's face was full of disappointment. I've never seen her this upset. _

Edward growled beside me, my unbeating heart wrenched. I heard a shuffling in front of us. Yes, Emmett should feel guilty.

"_Oh no, honey" Emmett kneeled down in front of Renesmee, his giant hands cupping her face; her eyes were wet. "I love it" He kissed her forehead._

"_But you said it's ugly" She sniffed. I silently prayed she won't cry or nothing could stop me from beating Emmett. _

"_It's because I think I need more blush" Renesmee looked at Emmett intently, looking at his eyes to check if he's lying, but all she saw was caring eyes, one that she understood were also honest eyes. She smiled softly at him and reached for the brush and the red blush. Emmett sighed, relieved, before Renesmee attacked him with the brush once again._

_Nice save, Emmett. _

_Renesmee took the dress on the stool and handed it to Emmett. He sweetly smiled at her and took hesitantly. "You will be as pretty as Momma when we're finished" She mused and turned around. "I'll wait in your bedroom while you change, Uncle Em" And she walked out of the bathroom._

_Renesmee was looking at Rosalie's necklaces when the bedroom door opened. Emmett stood on the doorway. The dress was very tight on him; the sequins were separated by at least a half inch. The skirt of the dress stopped midway his thighs and the strap was almost choking him, the pink boa hung on his left shoulders. On his left hands were the stilettos. _

"_I told you it won't fit me, Nessie" He twirled the stilettos. "And these would break once I stand up on them"_

_Renesmee gasped and hugged his legs. "You look pretty, Uncle Em!" _

_Emmett tried to crouch down next to her but the dress won't even let him bend his knees or his butt would rip it apart. He just looked down at Renesmee._

"_The dress is very tight, sweetie" He tried reasoning her. "I don't think I can move an inch in this"_

_Renesmee looked questioningly at him. "You walked all the way from Aunt Alice's bathroom to here"_

_Emmett hesitated before answering. "I had to compromise but I don't think I can do that all day… and with you"_

_Renesmee got confused now. "Why not? We have to go downstairs for the tea party"_

"_Why don't I go downstairs first while you wait up here? I'm going to set up the tea party in the living room and I'll call you down when it's ready, okay, sweetie?"_

_Renesmee was still confused but nodded her head anyways. Emmett closed the door, after patting her head softly._

_After a few minutes of trying on Rosalie's jewelries Emmett finally called her down. She gracefully ran down the hallway and carefully skipped down stairs, her shoes making a rhythmic tapping on the floor. As she neared the living room she slowed her walk, as if she was the queen walking down the street as people bowed down to her. _

_The glass center table was replaced by Renesmee's round drawing table covered in a Disney Princess tablecloth. Two cups and a tea pot were in the middle, tea bags beside them, Emmett knowing that Renesmee always want to be the one to prepare it. Two stools were placed opposite of each other; the right stool was occupied by Emmett, his legs were covered by the rest of the tablecloth hanging down the table. The TV was playing Cinderella, Renesmee's current favorite fairytale. _

_She smiled widely and ran to Emmett to hug him. She clutched around his neck tightly. "It looks wonderful Uncle Em"_

_Emmett patted her arms wrapped around him. "Sit" He offered._

_Renesmee obeyed and walked around the table. She was about to pull the stool out when it moved. She looked down and saw Emmett's foot, wearing the stilettos, pushing it._

"_A gentleman always pulls out the ladies' chair" Emmett goofily said._

_Renesmee's tinkling laugh filled the whole house. "Uncle Emmett, you are such a gentleman" _

_She quickly but smoothly dipped the tea bags in the tea pot where the hot water was already in. Waiting for a few minutes, they watched as Cinderella brought the tea up to her step-sisters. Emmett cleared his throat and handed the tea pot to Renesmee._

"_I think it's ready" _

_She giggled and took the tea pot from Emmett. "Here you go, sir Emmett" She politely said as she poured tea on his cup._

"_Thank you kind Madam" Emmett was so calm and poised it almost made me laugh. He took a sip when his face scrunched up and coughed._

_Renesmee quickly looked up to him, "What's wrong, Uncle Em? Is it bad?" We haven't told her we can't taste human food. _

_Before disappointment crowded her face, Emmett started speaking between coughs. "No cough sweetie. Just cough drank too fast cough"_

_Renesmee stood up and gently patted his back. "Is that better?" she asked when Emmett stopped coughing. _

"_My hero" His voice was high, trying to mimic a girl's voice with his deep one. He placed his right hand on his chest dramatically. _

_Renesmee's tinkling laugh was joined in by Emmett's booming guffaw. It sounded like a musical masterpiece with bells and drums as the instruments. She went back to her seat and continued on with her tea. Emmett was trying to hold conversations like a proper gentleman, asking things like "How has the day been treating you?" and remarks like "By golly" in a British accent. _

_Emmett was in the middle of asking her about her plans in the future when we walked in._

* * *

"Have I been punished enough?" Emmett softly asked as Renesmee started drifting to sleep. "You do know this dress reached Rosalie's knees when she wore it"

Edward chuckled. "I'll leave Bella to decide that" I looked up at Edward, his playful gaze met my confused one. He was trying to make Emmett suffer, I was up to that. As I was about to answer the question there were a few flashes and then a chorus of laughter.

We looked to the Cullen's doorway and there stood the rest of our family, save for Carlisle who was still working in the hospital. Esme and Rosalie was back from hunting, Jasper and Alice, who was on the first step of the stairs, had a few shopping bags on each arms, and Jacob, at the very front of the crowd with a camera. They were all doubling over laughter.

Jacob wolf-whistled and playfully added, "Such great legs you have, Emmett" Emmett's hands balled into fists but Jacob didn't notice as he looked towards Alice. "Thanks for the wake up call and the tip on bringing a camera, shortie"

By this time, Edward and I had joined in with the laughter. I was surprised we didn't wake Renesmee up; I guess she was exhausted from her long day, and it was her nap time.

It was then that Emmett launched at Jacob. With his wolf reflexes, Jacob ran out to the front yard before Emmett's hands could get a hold of his neck. The dress ripped into pieces, leaving Emmett only with his boxer briefs, but he didn't care as he angrily went after an amused still human Jacob, who was dodging every strike.

The crowd was now gathered in the front porch, cheering for Jacob and taunting Emmett.

"Alice!" I called; she looked back at me her eyes gleaming. "You better be ready. You're next on his death list"

Alice laughed and nodded. "I know" and winked at me. She had something more up her designer sleeves.

"Let's put Renesmee up in my bedroom for now before we join in with the fun" Edward whispered in my ear. If I was still human goose bumps would be all over my arms by now. I looked up at him and kissed him softly. When we pulled away he stared at me, "You know Emmett is nowhere near pretty as you are" and he scooped me and Renesmee up his arms and ran to his bedroom.

I set Renesmee in her small bed when we got to the room. Edward's room hasn't changed except for Renesmee's second bed set in the middle of the room for when she has to take a nap while spending time with the family. He sat on the couch and pulled me on his lap as we listened to our daughter's light snoring when I remembered something.

"Edward?" I stroked cheeks.

"Hmmm.."

"How _did_ Emmett manage to walk from Alice's bathroom, and then to their bedroom and then down to the living room without ripping the dress apart?"

"He did compromise" Edward chuckled, his chest rising up and down. I love how that felt. He looked at me. "He lifted the skirt of the dress up to his waist"

I felt my mouth hang open and imagined big Emmett lifting up his own skirt, running around the living room with a pink sequined dress all bunched up around his waist and his boxer briefs. I laughed.

"I guess he has been punished enough"

* * *

**A/N:**

**How was it? D Hope you enjoyed it. Review? **

**And Emmett seems like a boxer brief kind of guy, I just assumed. **


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